Here at EPF, we are deathly afraid of creepy crawlies – ants, roaches, slugs, you name it. But the one that seems to plauge the EPF offices the most are spiders. Naturally, we were stoked when we came across the following pin:

Simple enough, right? So, we began to assemble ingredients. One cup distilled white “vingar” – check. One teaspoon of canola oil (what we had on hand) – check. One teaspoon Dawn dish soap – check. Now, one cup pepper powder. Pepper powder? What pepper? Black, white, red, habanero … what?? Be specific, Pinterest! We chose red pepper. If it’s spice that keeps the spiders away, then why not choose the spiciest we have in our pantry?
We mixed up all of the ingredients inside an empty cleaning bottle. Since ~2 cups of mix didn’t quite fill up the whole bottle (and we are DAMN determined to keep spidey away), we filled the rest with more vinegar and MORE red pepper.
Voila! Spider Killer:

The mixture was quite thick. Probably because 1+ cup of red pepper powder is a shit ton of pepper powder, and it doesn’t actually dissolve in the vinegar, soap, and oil. It just kind of sits there. We got off a few sprays around the outside of our front door, and then …

The funking sprayer jammed. Soaking it in hot water (like we do with our hairspray in similar situations) didn’t even work. This shit was THICK. And the few sprays we were able to get around the door resembled something of a murder scene, with red blotches scattered across our white door.

Yup, epic fail. Not to mention that EPF’s HQ also reeked of vinegar and spice FOR DAYS.
Anybody need a FULL bottle of useless spider killer? We’ll mail it to ya. We have no idea what to do with this stinky crap. Oh, and we still have a spider problem.

FML.