Another Chocolate Covered Strawberry Fail

OK, we get it. This pin looks too delicious and too cool not to attempt:

chocolate covered strawberries

“Make these chocolate covered strawberries in an ice tray. They are portable and easy to take to any picnic.”

Even though we already debunked this one, readers are still sharing their failed attempts with us.

The following photo comes from EP reader Sara P.:

chocolate-covered-strawberries-fail-reader Epic Pinterest Fail

She says: “Chocolate covered strawberries in ice cube trays do not work. The chocolate cracks off when you take them out!

But please, if you try this one, keep sharing your photos with us! We can all collectively smack our heads together:

naked-gun-head-smack Epic Pinterest Fail

Why waste time making this tasteful disaster when you can just buy your own? 12 Celebration Chocolate Covered Strawberries

EPF Tested: Caramel Brownie Fail Pies

The original pin – “It’s a well-documented fact that everyone loves a rich, chocolate-y brownie, but bake them in cookie-form and sandwich together with a caramel buttercream and you just might never recover.”

Salted-Caramel-Brownie-Pies

Click image for recipe.

We agree with the blogger – who doesn’t love a brownie? And who wouldn’t LOVE this? We wanted to get our hands on this cookie so much that we decided to try it ourselves. Unfortunately, we momentarily forgot that we are epic Pinterest failures (natch), and we should have just saved ourselves the time and effort.

First fail? Not having the proper tools. The recipe calls for a KitchenAid mixer (retail $330+). We tried it with our hand mixer (retail ~$25). And our arms got pretty dang tired after holding that thing for the 15 consecutive minutes of mixing that this recipe requires.

Once the batter was done and dropped onto the cookie sheet, we though it looked a little runny. But what else can you do at this point? Shove ‘em in the oven!

End result?

brownie-cookie-spread on EpicPinterestFail.com

Our cookies shape-shifted into an amorphous blob. How are we supposed to make sandwiches out of these? Time for ingenuity:

Caramel Brownie Sandwich Cookie Fail on EpicPinterestFail.com

Because of the way the cookies came out of the oven, and because we didn’t cook them long enough, only a handful of our post-cut cookies were usable. A total of 10 cookies could somewhat be salvaged, which means only 5 sandwiches total:

Caramel Brownie Sandwich Cookie Fail on EpicPinterestFail.com

But we did not know this before-hand, so we’d already made the ENTIRE batch of caramel frosting to go inside the cookie sandwiches. (And BTW, the caramel frosting tasted exactly like its two ingredients: sugar and butter. Or how we imagine Paula Deen would taste if we bit into her.)

Dear starving children in Africa, please shield your eyes. The following was all completely unusable and had to be thrown away in the name of failure:

Caramel Brownie Sandwich Cookie Fail on EpicPinterestFail.com

Minutes of prep time: 30

Minutes of cook time: 9

Hours spent bitching and moaning about this effort: At least 24

Seconds it took us to break out the alcohol and console ourselves: 1

Caramel Brownie Sandwich Cookie Fail on EpicPinterestFail.com

Got a fail to share? Submit it to us!

EPF Tested: Chocolate Covered Bites of Fail

The original pin:

chocolate covered strawberries

Click the image above for more information on the original pin.

The caption of this pin said “Make these chocolate covered strawberries in an ice tray. They are portable and easy to take to any picnic.

Well, first of all, this doesn’t look like it was made in an ice tray. Last we checked, ice cubes weren’t strawberry shaped. As it turns out, it wasn’t made at home in an ice tray. These delicious looking goodies come from a specialty chocolatier. But, OK, Pinterest. We’ll humor you. Maybe this CAN be done …

… First, we came up with the ingenious idea to use a plastic egg crate instead of an ice tray (ice trays are too small to hold a whole strawberry). Not gonna lie, we definitely patted ourselves on the back for this idea. We cut it away from the egg carton and washed it (no salmonella here, plz), and voila! Chocolate-covered strawberry mold:

Chocolate Covered Strawberries Fail on EpicPinterestFail.com

The next steps were painfully easy – even for failures like us. Melt the chocolate, dip the strawberries in chocolate and place in the “mold,” and then cover rest of the mold in melted chocolate. Easy peasy. Then we placed it in the fridge overnight to set.

The next day, we removed the mold from the strawberry-chocolate block ever so delicately. We have to admit, we were pretty surprised that it came out relatively unscathed:

Chocolate Covered Strawberries Fail on EpicPinterestFail.com

But alas, you cannot take a brick of strawberries to a picnic with a group of people! They must be cut into individual sizes! Here’s where the ultimate failure sets in:

Chocolate Covered Strawberries Fail on EpicPinterestFail.com

A knife to the block creates ultimate disaster – strawberries and strawberry juice ooze out of their candy shells to create an epic mess. Sure, it tastes great. But it looks like FAIL. Who wants to be responsible for bringing failure to the fun-filled picnic?? Surely, not us. And don’t call us Shirley.

Next time, we’ll just order it from the chocolatier. And we’ll eat it all ourselves. Screw your picnic!!!

Chocolate Covered Strawberries Fail on EpicPinterestFail.com

Got a fail? Submit it to us via our easy (and anonymous if you’re nasty) electronic form. Or e-mail us!

 

EPF Tested: Fail Scout Cookies

At EPF, we’re no stranger to Girl Scout cookies. It’s quite possible that we destroyed 5 boxes in less than 48 hours this past March. Quite possible … But we are neither confirming nor denying such rumors ;-) So you can imagine our excitement when we came across this pin, which meant that we didn’t have to go 11 months without another Thin Mint fix.

The original pin – Homemade Thin Mint Cookies:

thin-mints-original

Click the image above for original recipe.

This pin started out great - ingredients mixed up well, formed a solid log of dough, and froze overnight. Although, the dough froze more in an oval shape rather than circle shape, when cut, but hey, life’s not perfect:

Pre-baked thin mint cookies on EpicPinterestFail.com

However, maybe we sliced the cookies too thin, because they turned out more of thin CRISPS than thin mints:

Burnt Thin Mint Cookies on EpicPinterestFail.com

We’d give them to the dogs, but they contain chocolate … so in the trash they go. Good thing we had a second batch, so we cut these much thicker. However, the thicker ones turned out pretty chewy, so we realized there’s a fine line between thick chewy mints and anorexic burnt mints. Maybe only Juliette Gordon Low knows the secret for sure.

Anywho, we covered the thick chewy mints with chocolate, but we didn’t have enough. Poor planning. Another sign of a true failure. We spread it across the cookies as best we could. The result? A truly depressing sight:

Thin Mint Cookies on EpicPinterestFail.com

GD. We went through TWO batches and still didn’t get it right. The taste was there, but the presentation and texture was a total fail. However, we decided to just crush up the remaining cookies and mix them up inside ice cream. Now THAT was a total win.

Homemade Thin Mint Cookies on EpicPinterestFail.com

Do you have a dessert to submit to us for this themed fail week? (Or just any other other Pinterest fail?) Submit it to us!

 

EPF Tested: Spider Killer

Here at EPF, we are deathly afraid of creepy crawlies – ants, roaches, slugs, you name it. But the one that seems to plauge the EPF offices the most are spiders. Naturally, we were stoked when we came across the following pin:

Spider Killer on EpicPinterestFail.com

Simple enough, right? So, we began to assemble ingredients. One cup distilled white “vingar” – check. One teaspoon of canola oil (what we had on hand) – check. One teaspoon Dawn dish soap – check. Now, one cup pepper powder. Pepper powder? What pepper? Black, white, red, habanero … what?? Be specific, Pinterest! We chose red pepper. If it’s spice that keeps the spiders away, then why not choose the spiciest we have in our pantry?

We mixed up all of the ingredients inside an empty cleaning bottle. Since ~2 cups of mix didn’t quite fill up the whole bottle (and we are DAMN determined to keep spidey away), we filled the rest with more vinegar and MORE red pepper.

Voila! Spider Killer:

Homemade Spider Killer on EpicPinterestFail.com

The mixture was quite thick. Probably because 1+ cup of red pepper powder is a shit ton of pepper powder, and it doesn’t actually dissolve in the vinegar, soap, and oil. It just kind of sits there. We got off a few sprays around the outside of our front door, and then …

Homemade Spider Killer on EpicPinterestFail.com

The funking sprayer jammed. Soaking it in hot water (like we do with our hairspray in similar situations) didn’t even work. This shit was THICK. And the few sprays we were able to get around the door resembled something of a murder scene, with red blotches scattered across our white door.

Homemade Spider Killer on EpicPinterestFail.com

Yup, epic fail. Not to mention that EPF’s HQ also reeked of vinegar and spice FOR DAYS.

Anybody need a FULL bottle of useless spider killer? We’ll mail it to ya. We have no idea what to do with this stinky crap. Oh, and we still have a spider problem.

jon-stewart-fml-gif

FML.

 

EPF Tested: More Like Spaghetti BEST-ern!

I chose this pin because 1) I suck at baking, and 2) I was for sure this would be a giant, gross, marinara mess.

The original pin: Baked Spaghetti in Garlic Bread

Original source: http://rhodesbread.com/blog/blog/braided-spaghetti-bread

First rule of failing at Pinterest: Don’t talk about failing. JK. First rule of failing at Pinterest is to be in an altered state. I started this recipe deep into a bottle of wine (FYI, my boyfriend helped drink the wine, too).

My friend Lauren gave me this hand-wash only glass that says “Drink Up Bitches!” I washed it in the dishwasher. Fail.

Ingredients were super easy: frozen bread dough, pre-made marinara sauce, spaghetti, and cheese.

I tried to roll out the dough, but it was really tough and sticky. I loaded it with flour to make it less sticky, but then (probably because of all of the wine), I had a giant flour mess. My dog Duane was a victim to the mess:

Humans are dumb.

With a little (re: A LOT) of complaining, my boyfriend stepped in and took over the dough responsibilities, working it similar to a pizza dough to get it to spread out. Success!

Then we started filling and folding:

When we finished folding it up, we realized a crucial mistake. We forgot the cheese! RUFKM? Unfold and try again:

Then we put the egg wash on, sprinkle with parm and parsley, and shove our creation in the oven and hope for the best as we polish off that bottle of wine. Thirty minutes later …

… Yeah, I’ll call it that. The cheese mudslide coming out the side isn’t the most pleasing thing to look at, but dern, if it ain’t delicious. We sliced it up and went to town. Could be the alcohol talking, but it was a pretty tasty creation, even if it was essentially a pasta calzone. (Pizza Hut, you can use the term “pasta calzone” for a few grand.)

So, what have we learned? If two drunks who suck at Pinterest can do this, then you can, too!