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It’s Halloween. Time for pumpkin carving, kids trick-or-treating in cute costumes, and … chicks walking around in slutty outfits? Why yes, nothing says “festival of the dead” quite like dressing up like a sexy kitten.

But our real issue isn’t the skin-baring outfits. Flaunt it if you got it, honey. Our issue is with the women who, instead of going for full-on sex like a Playboy bunny or a French maid, instead opt for a “creative” excuse to bare all. It leaves us confused. Just WTH is sexy about hot sauce, Sesame Street, or corn? CORN?!?

See for yourself:

If you’re going as a sexy highway, might as well wear a road sign that says “Slippery When Wet”

“Hot” and “Fire” can be euphemisms for sexy. But “Mild”? We feel sorry for the girl who gets “mild.”

An eyepatch and a skanky dress does not a pirate make.

Is it just us, or does this look more like sexy Cabbage Patch Doll with a knife instead of sexy Chuckie? Probably just us.

Sexy kangaroo costume – just be prepared for tons of douche bags to ask to get in your “pocket”

Again, prepare for douche bags asking you all night “Is there an app for THIS??” and pointing to their pants

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles – Wait, where’s sexy Splinter?

Wrong. Just wrong.

What’s next? Sexy turnip? Sexy kale? Sexy parsnip?

C’mon ladies. Let’s do better this year. You’re making us weep for the future:

Seen a sexy (but stupid) costume? Submit it to us, or share in the comments below!